You’re Not Reinforcing Bad Behavior

Your puppy jumps up, barks, or tugs at your sleeve.

The advice you’ve probably heard? “Ignore it. Don’t reinforce bad behavior.”

So you stand there, arms crossed, eyes looking anywhere but at them, waiting for the jumping to stop.

But instead of settling down, your puppy jumps higher, barks louder, and paws at you more intensely.

It feels like the ignoring isn’t working.

Here’s the part most people miss—sometimes attention isn’t the problem. It’s the solution.

Why Ignoring Doesn’t Always Work

The idea behind ignoring is rooted in behavioral science—specifically, the principle that rewarding a behavior makes it more likely to happen again.

So, if your puppy jumps and you pet them, they learn that jumping gets them what they want—your attention.

But what happens when ignoring doesn’t stop the behavior?

Puppies, like all social animals, are wired to seek connection. Ignoring a behavior can actually escalate it, not stop it. This is called an extinction burst.

Your puppy thinks, I was jumping, and they stopped paying attention. Maybe I just need to jump harder.

Ignoring alone can feel like shutting a door without explaining why. It leaves your puppy frustrated, confused, and often more determined to get through.

Attention Doesn’t Have to Reinforce the Wrong Thing

Here’s the reframe—attention isn’t the enemy.

It’s not that you give attention. It’s how and when you give it.

By redirecting your puppy’s energy before they spiral, you can use attention to teach calm, regulated behaviors instead of suppressing excitement.

The secret is to reward the pause, not the outburst.

What Your Puppy is Really Asking For

When your puppy jumps up, pulls, or barks, they aren’t being “bad.” They’re communicating a need—usually excitement, curiosity, or frustration.

It’s not about stopping the behavior. It’s about teaching them what to do with that energy.

Ignoring the behavior addresses the surface level, but meeting the need underneath helps reshape it long-term.

When to Step In – Catching the Window Before the Jump

Imagine your puppy is about to leap at you when you walk through the door.

Instead of ignoring the jump, step in before it happens.

Mark the moment their paws stay on the ground.

Reward eye contact before they bark.

Engage when they pause, even briefly.

By acknowledging those small moments of impulse control, you’re teaching them what works.

Suddenly, it’s not a fight to avoid attention—it’s an opportunity to guide them toward the behavior you want.

Why Withholding Attention Feels Personal to Puppies

For puppies, social interaction is like food or play—it’s reinforcing by itself.

When we ignore them for too long, puppies can experience social frustration, which leads to more intense behaviors.

In human terms, it’s like trying to get someone’s attention by tapping their shoulder. When they don’t respond, you tap harder or call their name louder.

You’re not trying to be disruptive—you just need connection.

Puppies feel the same way.

By acknowledging their effort, even in small ways, you’re building a relationship based on communication, not correction.

The Power of Redirection (and Why It’s Not “Giving In”)

Let’s say your puppy is chewing on your shoelace.

Instead of ignoring it or taking the shoelace away, redirect them to something appropriate—a chew toy, tug rope, or puzzle feeder.

Some people hesitate here, worrying that offering a toy feels like rewarding bad behavior.

But redirection isn’t rewarding the chewing—it’s fulfilling the need to chew in the right place.

Puppies aren’t learning that chewing is good; they’re learning, “This is what I chew when I feel like this.”

And that subtle difference is where the shift happens.

Practical Ways to Use Attention as a Teaching Tool

1. Interrupt Without Emotion

If your puppy jumps or barks, don’t ignore it completely. Calmly block the behavior by stepping back or turning away. No scolding, no excitement—just quiet redirection.

The goal isn’t to punish but to pause the interaction long enough to shift their focus.

2. Reward the Downbeat

Catch your puppy in moments of calm—when they sit quietly, lay down, or disengage on their own.

These are often the moments we miss because the absence of chaos feels normal. But reinforcing calm behavior teaches your puppy that stillness can be just as rewarding as excitement.

3. Make Eye Contact the Default

Teach your puppy that looking at you is the easiest way to get what they want.

If they sit and glance at you when they want attention, reward it. Over time, that glance replaces barking, jumping, or pulling.

You’re not ignoring their request—you’re reshaping how they ask.

4. Reinforce “Place” or Stationing

Instead of waiting for your puppy to jump on guests, send them to a mat or designated spot.

Reward them for staying there, even if it’s just for a few seconds at first. This becomes their “default” behavior when excitement spikes.

They still get your attention—but in a structured way that promotes calmness.

The Long-Term Impact – Shaping Behavior with Connection

When you stop viewing attention as a limited resource, you unlock new ways to shape behavior.

Your puppy begins to see you as a source of guidance, not just someone who enforces rules.

Over time, this builds a dog who doesn’t feel the need to jump or bark for attention—because they’ve learned how to ask for it calmly.

And that calm confidence?

It lasts far longer than any behavior you could suppress.