Helping Your Dog Choose You Over the World

You call your dog, and they hesitate for a moment before veering off to sniff something more exciting. You’re holding the leash, but it feels like you’re just there—more of a bystander than part of the experience.

It’s not that your dog doesn’t care about you. Connection isn’t about love—it’s about attention. And attention shifts constantly based on what feels the most rewarding in the moment.

Why Does Everything Else Hold Their Attention?

Dogs are always paying attention to something. The sound of rustling leaves, the jogger up ahead, or the scent carried by the wind all compete for focus. When your dog locks in on these things, it doesn’t mean they’re ignoring you—it means they’re engaged with the environment.

The good news? If your dog can focus on the world, they can focus on you too. It’s not about fighting for their attention, but rather showing them that connection with you leads to the things they already want.

You Can’t Outcompete the World—So Join It

One of the most common mistakes is trying to suppress excitement or stop your dog from interacting with distractions. But excitement isn’t the enemy.

Dogs are driven by engagement. If we make ourselves part of the excitement, we stop competing with distractions and start becoming part of the experience.

Next time your dog pulls toward something, ask yourself—can this distraction become part of the reward? If they want to run toward a tree, ask for a quick sit, then let them go. This is the Premack Principle in action—the thing they want reinforces the thing you want.

Play is the Shortcut to Connection

Connection isn’t built through rigid training sessions alone. Some of the strongest bonds come from play. When you chase your dog, engage in tug, or play fetch, you’re speaking their language.

Play is how dogs naturally connect. It lets them express energy, excitement, and curiosity. By incorporating play into training, you create a space where they don’t have to choose between engaging with the world and engaging with you—they get both.

Are They Really Ignoring You?

It’s easy to assume that if your dog isn’t responding, they’re choosing to ignore you. But most of the time, it’s not personal.

Dogs learn contextually. If they’ve practiced recall in the backyard, they understand it in that setting. But take them to a park, and the cue may fall apart. This doesn’t mean they forgot—it just means they haven’t generalized the skill to new environments.

Connection is the same. It needs to happen in a variety of places, at different levels of excitement. The more you practice connection in real-world situations, the stronger it becomes everywhere.

Why Doesn’t Food Always Work?

Food is a powerful reinforcer, but it’s not the only one. Sometimes, the reward of chasing, sniffing, or playing is more valuable than a treat.

Instead of relying solely on food, use the environment as part of the reward. If your dog checks in with you, let them investigate what they were interested in. If they recall, reward with a chase or tug game.

This doesn’t mean ditching food altogether—it means blending it with other rewards so that engagement feels dynamic, not one-dimensional.

How to Reinforce Connection in High-Energy Moments

Real connection isn’t built during calm moments—it’s built when energy is high. Asking for basic behaviors when your dog is already excited mimics real-life distractions.

Incorporate cues into play, ask for sits during fetch, or call your dog back in the middle of a flirt pole session. Shifting gears between excitement and focus strengthens engagement, teaching your dog that checking in doesn’t mean the fun stops.

When Progress Feels Slow

Some days, your dog will feel locked in with you. Other days, everything else will feel more interesting. That’s normal.

Connection isn’t built in a straight line—it’s layered over time. On tough days, ask for smaller wins. Reward eye contact, brief check-ins, and the little moments where your dog chooses to stay with you.

Over time, those moments grow. One day, your dog will turn toward you out of habit—not because they’re told to, but because they want to.